59 Comments
User's avatar
Bobbi Elman's avatar

Oh daaaaaammmnnnn, 🤣😂🤣

This is an absolute classic

Expand full comment
David Brown's avatar

So you’re a racist uneducated douche! Congrats!

Expand full comment
Rochelle Davis's avatar

Most definitely the trump supporting MAGA man.

Expand full comment
Andrea Massari's avatar

🤣😂🤣

Expand full comment
Maria 🇮🇪's avatar

Hahahaha! Very Funny! One of your Best yet! Love the Fox up @60 so it can seep in!

Excellent article.

Take Care.

Made any meatballs lately? 💚

Expand full comment
Seeking Secrets's avatar

You want get ahead following losers, dude. Trump doesn’t pay his bills.

Expand full comment
Smith Robert's avatar

Yep

Expand full comment
Steve van Leeuwen's avatar

Fuck, he sounds like a great guy! We have some like that here in Canada, eh?

Expand full comment
Lance Trottier's avatar

I thought I'd share this here if that's okay... some light reading? LOL

EDNA

At times I figger that I long ago became a meaningless ol’ lady in the lives o' them’s who once cared for me. It seems to ‘em, I no longer exist, ‘cuz they don’ come to visit no more. I can’t recall the last time anyone has bothered to knock at my door, or call me on the telephone... or even send me a post. Gracious me, I’d even welcome a bill delivered by the postman, but alas, even he no longer comes by. An’, anyways, the bills have stopped coming ‘cuz the utilities have been cut off for some time now. The milkman don’ come at my doorstep no more what with that smile of his, an’ his warm ‘Halloo, Edna! H’w’are ya this fine mornin’?’

My husband, James, why, he’s long since left me to go to the good Lawd, gosh, I can’t remember how long ago it was (an’ I truly believe he went to the Lawd, ‘cuz a good man he was!). My children, they gotten all growed an’ have their own to raise up, just like I once did all them years ago. Those wee grandchildren o' mine, how big they must be by now! The recollection o' their last visit fails me! Glory be! I can’t even remember their names. Oh, this life o' mine...

I can’t barely get up outta this chair (an’ at that, not very often), an’ by the time I do get myself up, I sits right back down again out of breath. An’ can’t get outside to feel the warm breeze on my face. (Anyhow, such a sight I’d be... I can’t think o' the last time I had a bath, or the last time a brush got pulled through this wad o' hair on my head!) I ain’t been able to open the drapes to let the warm sunshine an’ light into the room, such a chill as there is in’ere. I can’t get hold o' anyone to complain about my lights an’ such being turned off.

So, I sits here in this dark, chill room, mind a-wanderin’ into an’ out o' varied daydreams of what once was, but what ain't no longer, an’ the reality of ‘em bein’ unclear to me. I seem to sleep for countless hours... oh, how many, I don’ know, as the ol’ grandfather by the hall has stopped keepin’ time, ended its life of hourly an’ twice-hourly chimin’. I used to curse that blasted thing for its incessant tick-tockin’ in my ears all the time, but now how I long to hear it once again, for it to keep me comp'ny, to remind me that time ain't stood still for me. But, hell, it prob'ly wouldn’t do me a damned bit o' good, anyhow, what with my seein’ and hearin’ gone bad.

At times, it even seems to me that the Lord A’mighty, Hisself, has stopped talkin’ an’ listenin’ to me. He probably got good an’ tired of my whinin’ an’ complainin’. Ah, this life of mine... it’s a lonely one, that it be. I come to welcome the times when one of them rats skitters across my lap, or one of them spiders crawls on me. A long time ago, I stopped havin’ the strength to swat at ‘em. An’ since then, come to see ‘em as my only comp'ny. Nothin’ to do to pass the time, ‘cept my mind wanderin’, an’ sleepin’ the hours away.

My ears, they playin’ tricks on me now and again. Like this minute... I think I hear a knockin’ at my door. But, there ain’t no way, ‘cuz it hasn’t happened in such a long time, now. I think I hear it again, a bit louder this time. Hee hee hee...

Damned hearin’! But, hold on... It seems I’s hearin’ a fumblin’ with the front door lock! Has someone honest an’ truly come to pay a visit to dear ol’ lonely Edna? If I could just get myself up an’ outta this chair, well I’d have to get to the kitchen an’ fix some coffee an’ cookies for my comp'ny! I wonder who they may be!

The door swung open, an’ the light streamin’ in is blindin’ me... By the time my seein’ gets adjusted, there’s men (or maybe some of ‘em’s women) are standin’ all ‘round me, an’ others are walkin’ ‘round the house just a-lookin’ at me an’ my

belongins. Some’s complainin’ about the stench. How dare they come in’ere, and talk such! They’s wearin’ these funny lookin’ blue gowns an’ masks over their faces, an’ their hands has got gloves on ‘em... are they stealin’ my stuff? One

comes to me an’ takes my hand... maybe he’s a nice young man an’ wants me to know it. He feels my wrist, an’ then, puts his fingers on my neck (Lordy, ain’t been touched by human hands in such long time!). His eyes, they’s gentle eyes, with a

sadness in ‘em. After feelin’ my neck, he closes them eyes, an’ slowly shakes his head. He mumbles somethin’ to another, then turns away. Hey, Boy! What be happenin’? Who are ya? How very disrespectful to mumble right in front o’ me as if I ain’t here. An’ then, to turn your back to me!

A few o’ them come to me pullin’ along a bed on wheels, an’ bring it right up alongside o' me an’ my chair. They, with them gloved hands an’ all, lift me up outta the chair easy like, an’ lay me down on that bed what they brought in. How good of ‘em... they’s coverin’ me with a sheet, an’ prob'ly a blanket’ll come, too. Hey, don’ be coverin’ my head like that! You actin’ like I’m dead or...

As they’s wheelin’ me on out the door, I gets to thinkin’... ‘You actin’ like I’m dead or...’ Mebbe... mebbe, that be what this is all ‘bout, now... I’m passed on! No wonderin’ thing’s been so quiet for such a long time now! All’s clear an’ comin’ t’me, yes, it is...

James! Oh, James! I see’s ya comin’ for me, m’dear sweet man! It be good t’see ya, again! Yep, James, I’m a-comin’!

Copyright ©2005 Lance Trottier

Expand full comment
Millicent's avatar

Wouldn’t change a word.

Expand full comment
Phat Khat's avatar

Funny and sad. I live in Arkansas, not so far from Alabama. My late husband was from Alablama as he called it. You either live in the south or have spent time here, because you absolutely nailed it! I know people just like that.

Expand full comment
Sheryl Pinard's avatar

Enjoyed. Sad!

Expand full comment
Peggy Nocchiero's avatar

So perfect. The visualization throughout is amazing! Great job!

Expand full comment
Hey! I’m Back!'s avatar

I will do this for you son, if I can. 🤣🤣🤣🤣☮️

Expand full comment
The Mouthy Renegade Writer's avatar

Great song! &:^)

Expand full comment
Lexi Santa Maria's avatar

I NEARLY KNEE JERK UNSUBSCRIBED LOL

Expand full comment
The Mouthy Renegade Writer's avatar

Christ! Glad you didn't! I thought my warning at the beginning helped, but some probably see the title and are like, "WTF?" &:^)

Expand full comment
Roxy Morgan's avatar

Thanks for this! I’m laughing my ass off! Makes up for the tears I had in my eyes last night watching the fireworks. Crying for our beautiful Democracy and all of the idiots who couldn’t or wouldn’t listen during the election cycle. I can’t believe there are so many blind, ignorant people that voted the Orange Idiot for President again. Did they all have their memories wiped? What is it about him that so many people listen to everything he says, and even after he’s been proven to be the biggest liar in our history? And now, they seem to think anything he says or does is Scripture! How can so many be such fools??? But, anyway, here we are, for now! The rest of us will not stop fighting until our Country is safe again. We The People will prevail! My tears tell me I have to believe that! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Expand full comment
Cheryl Fleming's avatar

Brilliant. But too real for comfort. I did not watch the July 4th festivities, including the fireworks. I knew I'd cry all the way through. I turned my TV off.

Expand full comment