I Went to a Funeral, and a Nazi Rally Broke Out

A White Nationalist Event Disguised as Charlie Kirk's Funeral

This was the largest Nazi rally in US history. What the fuck have we become?

If I’m ever murdered, please be sure my memorial service barely mentions me, that most of my family isn’t there, and there’s a grift shop. 🙄

The cult-like spectacle of a “funeral” for Charlie Kirk didn’t fail to disappoint. Those of us who have a disdain for Christofascist, capitalistic fundraisers and white nationalist, Nazi propaganda saw this coming. The Fluorescent Führer barely stopped sucking his own tiny cock in front of 90,000 people to address Charlie Kirk.

Fitting, from such a classless dick to a garbage human being.

He did, however, stop to bust a few of his weird, geriatric dance moves during America the Beautiful while standing right next to newly widowed, MAGA-Grifter Barbie. While most grieving widows would have been outraged, Carrie Underhanded smiled like a woman earning millions from crowdfunding and the politicization of her husband’s passing.

Here’s the proof:

Captain Grabby Hands also kissed her on the right cheek, attempting to kiss her on the lips after. She turned her head, so it landed on her left cheek. Perhaps he was just caught up in the moment. Though he does have a thing for blondes who look like Ivanka.

“Daddy Diddles loves you, Erika.” 🤮

90,000+ people came to pay their respects and their bills for all of this white-nationalist, MAGA merch. That’s an astounding number of clueless dick-smacks. It’s nauseating when a gathering of Christians-in-Name-Only outnumber a Joel Osteen megachurch Sunday service.

Charlie Kirk’s funeral yesterday set an attendance record. Not for the most people at State Farm arena, but for the largest gathering of pedophiles in one place, breaking Vatican City’s record. I’m shocked that children were in attendance, since most of the men wearing ankle monitors aren’t allowed within 500 yards of a school.

At least the pyrotechnics reminded everyone of Hell. Where the entirety of the Trump administration is actually going to call home one day. Any gathering with the Trump family, JD Vance, Elon Musk, and Trump’s abysmal cabinet (junk drawer) is bound to have those who will be retiring in the Scorched South someday.

This was a white-nationalist rally, not a funeral. How can you Nazi that?

Some have criticized Erika Kirk for allowing the sale of MAGA merchandise at her husband’s funeral. We all grieve in different ways. Some prefer the company of close family and friends. Others gain strength from the attendance of 90,000 Nazi-sympathizing supporters. And their wallets.

Perhaps selling merch at your husband’s funeral is one of the five stages of grief. Grift. Whatever.

But let me say it again: This was a political rally, not a funeral. Did you see the people in attendance? Mango Mussolini looked like a carrot in the middle of a white-trash salad. And Jesus Christ on a stick, check out this shit:

Tell me it’s a cult without saying it’s a cult.

They would, and they’d call him a commie socialist for wanting to feed the poor. Sick assholes.

I’ve attended my fair share of funerals, but I never had the desire to carry around a life-sized cross. But then again, I’m not a bat-shit crazy Trump supporter. How these people have any level of self-respect is beyond me.

Scenes like this should worry the fuck out of those of us who haven’t been indoctrinated by Cult 45. But it’s par for the course for those following a cult of personality like Velveeta Voldemort. Spray Tan Shitler loves stupid people. He said that recently, in fact.

“Smart people don’t like me.” - Actual quote from The Leaning Tower of Treason.

Yes, and then the cheater of the free world spewed more divisive, raw sewage out of his puckered mouth-anus. He told 90,000+ angry attendees and millions more worldwide that he hated his political opponents. Because that’s what you say during someone’s funeral. Other world leaders shook their heads in disgust.

This only lasted briefly, though, while his “grief” moved on toward his on-brand, grandiose bragging. His lying and gaslighting about how great America has been these past eight months was as laughable as it was ridiculous. Anyone who’s constantly going on and on about their “accomplishments” and self-fellating themselves at every public event they attend is a weak, petty, fuckwit.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he hosted his own funeral this weekend just for the attention.

That will be what does him in. Great leaders don’t tell the world how great they are. They lead by example.

I refused to tune into this stormtrooper spectacle. I had better things to do than watch twelve hours of this ridiculous bullshit. I knew that there would be plenty of media coverage, memes, and social media outrage over this. People wearing Trump apparel and American flags littered the audience at State Farm Arena en masse.

I’m shocked that Kid Rock didn’t show up to perform the National Anthem. He was probably in the county jail for stealing catalytic converters. After all, his career has-been in the tank since becoming a vocal supporter of Tronald Dump.

That happens. Anything Groper Cleveland touches turns to shit.

Speaking of Mr. Touchy-Feely-No-Consenty, let’s not forget one thing during MAGA’s “mourning” of Charlie Kirk: Trump is in the Epstein files. He’s all over them like a Trump at a teenage beauty pageant. He wants us to forget all about this.

There’s no fucking way. Absolutely not. Manufacture all of the outrageous weekly scandals like you do, King Nothing. We will never stop calling for their release. You will serve justice for your many crimes against children.

It was an all-star gathering of GOP MAGA dicks on Sunday. These trash politicians need to be removed from office.

Not even when you turn Charlie Kirk’s funeral into the fucked-in-half, deranged, NAMBLA gathering it is. You can decorate it in all of the American flag bullshit that you want. Invite all of the biggest GOP fuckwits on the planet who will attend a White-Pride gathering. You can even play “kiss and make up” with Elon like you did.

But you can bet your diaper-wearing ass that honest, hard-working Americans won’t be fooled. We’ll continue to fight your fascist bullshit. You will not silence our free speech. Fuck ALL the way off with your Project 2025 agenda.

Now, excuse us while we continue canceling our Disney+ and Hulu subscriptions.

© 2025 The Mouthy Renegade Writer. All rights reserved.

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