Elon’s 4-Year-Old Son Makes Trump His Bitch
He Says Rude Shit Right to His Orange Face in the Oval Office
Another day, more fuckery from the Oval Office. This time it involved family. Trump’s crime-syndicate crotch fruit? Surprisingly, no for once.
The star of this shit-show was Elon Musk’s 4-year-old son. And the ratings were high. The entire world was laughing at his antics directed at the toddler-in-chief. Talk about two competitive little boys.
I couldn’t tell you this small fella’s name if I had Cliff’s Notes and a head start. “X” is how he’s commonly referred to, with a series of letters or symbols attached to it. Similar to when Prince changed his name from “Prince” to an unpronounceable symbol, I’m sticking to what I know.
Prince X. There ya go. Since his father is The Ketamine King.
In an attempt not to look like the weird, pasty-white, South African vampire who’s sucking the blood from America’s social programs that he is, Elon fucked up. He made a poor choice and paraded a toddler in front of the media and new cameras, thinking it would make him more likable and relatable.
It’s easier to steal from your country when people like you. Trump figured that out in 2016 and 2024. Playing toward the willfully ignorant, racist, bigoted crowd has helped him win the presidency twice, now.
Well, that and election hacking from the owner of Twatter. Russian president Putin has also helped with his army of Russian bots.
So little X decided to get vocal in the middle of his Daddy’s press conference yesterday. This isn’t surprising when you have to share your father with 10 other kids. Attention-seeking is bound to happen. Elon seems bent on setting the record for the most kids fathered by a celebrity. Nick Cannon is starting to sweat.
Elon attempted to quiet X, who was mimicking the reporter asking questions. He then switched his focus to the Con-Man-in-Chief, Captain Von Schitzenpantz. As Trump eyeballed this small child in his typical moody, disinterested way, the cameras rolled.
“I want to shush your mouth.”
Prince X, saying the exact shit we’ve all been feeling for the past 10 years. Some of us, even longer. But more so during his political career. What else ya got for us, Little Man? You tell that mean, orange prick how you really feel.
After a brief pause to pick his nose and wipe it on Trump’s desk, X decided to tell Cadet Bonespurs some shit he needed to hear. I laughed my head off at this little nugget of wisdom:
“You are not the president. You need to go away.”
Totally. America has been feeling that vibe for almost a month, now. And not only toward Dementia Don but toward X’s greedy, corrupt father himself. He is not an elected official. We did NOT vote Elonald Trusk into office.
This kid is obviously fed up with the illegal, immoral crap that his father and Vice-Puppet Trump are inflicting on America. He’s over everyone’s shit. Trump’s weak-as-hell response? He said that the boy was “A high-IQ individual.”
Well duh. Compared to Don Jr. and Eric, who isn’t? They would have eaten their boogers, not wiped them on the Resolute Desk.
Little X’s takedown of the Tangerine Turd was incredible. It makes me wonder what wasn’t captured when the cameras were filming. I bet the roast of Trump continued afterward, and sounded a little something like this:
“I don’t wear a diaper, but you do.”
“I read at a higher grade level than you.”
“Shush, or I talk about Epstein’s Island. Stop trying to steal my girlfriend.”
“My suit costs more than yours, Peasant.”
“I have a bigger wiener than you.”
“My Daddy has 50 times more money than you. You’re Orange Trash.”
“My Dad’s gonna deport your past-her-expiration-date mail-order bride.”
“I’m stealing your mistress, Ivanka.”
“Our mansion is bigger than Mar-a-Lago.”
“Ok, Boomer…”
“Only poor people eat at McDonald’s, Twatwaffle.”
“Your son would eat my boogers.”
“Why do you smell like fast food and piss?”
“Do what we say, or it’s Guantanamo Bay.”
“The Chiefs lost because you like them. They hate your fandom.”
“Taylor Swift thinks you’re stupid, and I agree.”
“Your Daddy wore a white hood and sheet, like mine does.”
“You’re going to see Hitler in Hell real soon.”
“Your spray tan is ridiculous. You look like our leather couch.”
“Your hairstyle is bullshit. What’s it made out of? Pam Bondi’s chest hair?”
“I’m not flying in Air Force One with you. You’re stinky.”
“I hope the next plane that crashes is yours.”
“My Daddy is your boss. You’re just the Vice-President.”
“Go get me some dino nuggies and apple juice. NOW.”
“People are going to cheer when you die soon.”
“Canada and Mexico owned you.”
“You have social media meltdowns like a junior high girl.”
“Call me “Sir”, Goddamn it.”
“You look like a dick in your NFTs.”
“You’re a spray-tanned asshole.”
“Your kids want their inheritance money.”
“What kind of fuckhead doesn’t own a pet dog?”
“You can’t satisfy your wife.”
At this point, Elon realized the error of his ways. Perhaps it wasn’t best practice to have a “Bring Your Son to Work Day.” There’s a reason Donald Dick never brought Dumb and Dumber to his office when they were fart-sniffing lads.
Elon figured he’d better pack it in before Prince X made Trump cry in the Oval Office. One can’t have his pancake batter orange makeup running, after all. He snapped his fingers and X’s team of nannies swooped in to hustle the tired little boy away.
Nannies, because his Mommy was nowhere to be found. It was later discovered that she was in the middle of a full body massage, a requirement when you're married to the biggest fuckwit on the planet. The stress over the father of her child throwing Nazi salutes up recently requires day-long spa treatments.
She was good enough to show up though and tweet her disapproval of young X being used as a shockingly effective pawn against Vice President Trump. In her response to a comment on X about her son being “very polite”, Grimes said the following:
“He should not be in public like this. I did not see this, thank u for alerting me. But I’m glad he was polite. Sigh.”
Sarcasm, I’m assuming. Or perhaps X was nice to the media, a switch from the typical bullshit daily press conferences that attention-seeking Jabba the Trump tends to hold. How insecure of a self-important douche nozzle do you have to be to hold them DAILY?
I don’t know. Ask the real president, I guess. The one whose four-year-old just owned Trumpleforeskin.
© 2025 The Mouthy Renegade Writer. All rights reserved.
“You are not the president. You need to go away” would make a very nice bumper sticker. Just sayin’.
Hey, if I was that kid, I'd have taken a dump on the desk. 😂 Go for broke.